Who Can Hear The Music?

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“The young person who is alone on the seashore or in the forest and hears music; those people who have the knowledge that the music must be followed- must stay with it. I’m sure that in our world, where emphasis is put on success, the song is heard and forgotten.” Joseph Campbell

Having a good ear is essential to any musician. It’s what separates exceptional musicians  from amateurs. Intuition plays a big part, as well as acute awareness to sound, pitch and tone. It’s this same kind of awareness that were tapping into when were following our bliss. Were being sensitive to what moves us, much like the many musicians that felt the call at some point in their life. A spark was ignited, and from that day forward they were hooked.

Our family is a musical one. My husband plays the piano and violin. Both of our children play too-the youngest plays the violin and ukulele, the oldest plays guitar, ukulele and is a classically trained singer. They do it for the love of it- it’s in their DNA. The hours spent practicing scales and repertoire without any acknowledgement or fame doesn’t matter. They are playing, not for the admiration, but for the will inside them to be better for themselves. I’ve witnessed during their practice when time stops, that they’re in a kind of trance like zone, creating their beautiful music. The bliss experienced when studying their craft can’t be put into words.

I use the music analogy because it’s a powerful one. When we think about success we often don’t associate the idea with happiness. In our culture it’s become two separate entities. Something like, you’re only happy until you’ve reached some level of success. Only then when you’ve become what our society deems successful, are you happy. This is where we’ve got it wrong. Instead of pushing and prodding our children to “play it safe”, get good grades, get into college, do something because of the money “success”-we could and should be fostering the idea of following the music in ones heart- the passions and desires that don’t care about the money, that don’t worry about what they might be, that aren’t wrapped up in the trappings societies have placed on us.

I’ve often said that the world needs all kinds of people. We need, more than ever, children brought up to value their own worth, trusting in who they are as individuals, exploring what their life might look like when they “follow their music”.

This is a beautiful quote by David W. Orr,

“The plain fact is that the planet does not need more successful people. But it does desperately need more peacemakers, healers, restorers, storytellers, and lovers of every kind. It needs people who live well in their places. It needs people of moral courage willing to join the fight to make the world habitable and humane. And these qualities have little to do with success as we have defined it.”

It’s a shift in consciousness. Everyday we hear the perils of our planet and our humanity. I can imagine a world where people turn inward, and re-evaluate their role in society, their importance on future generations. How we raise our children now will influence tomorrows great leaders and thinkers. The growing dissatisfaction in education for many young people is coming to a crossroads. Many students feel trapped in a school system that does little to support them and their engagement to the work being done is extremely low. It has little relevance to them. They can’t hear the music…

“The worth of education must now be measured against the standards of decency and human survival – the issues now looming so large before us in the twenty-first century. It is not education, but education of a certain kind, that will save us.” -David W. Orr

Some of the most “successful” people I’ve met are those who have given an extraordinary amount of time and effort to creating a world that has harmony, personal freedom, time to do things they enjoy,  high integrity, a deep sense of purpose and above all, humility.

So what are we to do?

What dreams and wishes could we all fulfill if we never abandon the music? What if we never betray our deep seated passions and truth? What if we re-evaluated everything we knew and were told and taught about success? Would we be happier? I believe we would. My role as a parent is to be a supporter of dreams, and encourage my children to make their own meaning in life. The change happens only when we re-educate our hearts and minds and make something that matters… more than mere success.

 

 

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Life Advice For Artists: The Wisdom Of Neil Gaiman

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Image via Nerdist

Neil Gaiman gets talked about a lot in our household. Our kids love Neil for his story Coraline, a story about a brave girl who discovers an alternate world. Her curiosity leads her on many adventures, with many twists and turns. I believe it’s a story crafted by Neil to say to people, get out of your comfort zone, see things, do things, explore. Here are some of Neil’s ideas worthy of some serious thought…

-Approach your creative labor with joy, or else it becomes work.

-Say “no” to projects that take you further from rather than closer to your own creative goals, however flattering or lucrative.

Embrace your fear of failure. Make peace with the impostor syndrome that comes with success. Don’t be afraid of being wrong.

-Make your art, tell your story, find your voice—even if you begin by copying others.

-You can get work because of the story you tell about yourself, even if it means embellishing, but you keep working because you’re good.

-Enjoy your work and your small victories; don’t get swept up into the next thing before being fully present with the joys of this one.

-This is an era in which the creative landscape is in constant flux. The rules are being broken down, the gatekeepers are being replaced and displaced. Now is the time to make up your own rules.

-When things get tough, make good art

Sometimes life is hard. Things go wrong- and in life, and in love, and in business, and in friendship, and in health, and in all the other ways in which life can go wrong. And when things get tough, this is what you should do: Make good art. I’m serious. Husband runs off with a politician? Make good art. Leg crushed and then eaten by a mutated boa constrictor? Make good art. IRS on your trail? Make good art. Someone on the internet thinks what you’re doing is stupid, or evil, or it’s all been done before? Make good art.

Lastly….

Go and make interesting mistakes, make amazing mistakes, make glorious and fantastic mistakes. Break rules. Leave the world more interesting for your being here. Make. Good. Art.

Self-Directed Learning and Mastery

Our family watched this great lecture given by Robert Greene at Oxford University. Robert Greene is a historian of sorts- he’s written several books, a couple which I have are Mastery and the 48 Laws of Power. He gives us a look at three individuals who, through their own self direction went on to accomplish many great things in their lifetime. They were Leonardo DaVinci (developed sophisticated flying machines, detailed navigation equipment, etc), Charles Darwin (discovered the Theory of Evolution) and John Coltrane (one of the finest self taught jazz saxophonists).

The dictionary’s definition of mastery is a “comprehensive knowledge or skill in a subject or accomplishment.” I find this particularly interesting because through self-directed learning, one has substantial time and autonomy to pursue one’s interests in a deep and meaningful way. One is allowed, without permission, to follow their own desires and curiosities.

Philip and I have conversations about self-directed learning- it helps us gain clarity and validates our position that it allows a child to develop their talents, allows them the time to discover things about themselves, gives them the confidence that it is their path, not a pre-packaged path.

Self-directed learning looks very different from traditional schooling- we don’t cover several subjects everyday, we don’t have a set schedule, we don’t test them and we don’t assign a grade. What we do is sit down and talk to them. We ask questions to stimulate conversation. We find out what makes them excited- we tailor their activities to support their interests. Then we engage them in these areas. We support their curiosity. Much of our learning happens simply by talking in conversation. What often ends up happening is the initial conversation will lead to another conversation. It all happens rather organically.

Our youngest daughter Natalie asked us if she could play the violin. She was eight years old. She did a six week beginner class with her teacher and has continued to excel at the violin for the last two and a half years.  She has great musical mentors who inspire and push when there is a challenging piece of music, but for the most part, Natalie pushes herself, she thrives on challenge.

We see our kids staying naturally focused on what drives them, what excites them (without coercion from us). I sadly feel that traditional schooling does not allow for the kind of depth that allows one to truly master anything. I know when Olivia was in public high school last year she felt she could barely keep up with the pace- there were too many subjects to fully grasp the content and little allowance for individuality or creative expression of ideas. Yet, teachers expect the equivalent of mastery, an A. It’s not the teachers fault, they are just doing what they’re told. It’s a corporate and conformist model of thinking and we need to find a better way for our children. If you look at education like a company, one that produced poor results continually (in this case decades), they would be out of business. So why hasn’t change come to traditional schooling? That’s another topic for another day…

From my own experience, when children are allowed to follow their own path of discovery they are on their way to mastery. I see it happening in my own kids. They will continue on their path, and this path may continually change, but it’s their path. I simply have to show them love and enable them a safe place to explore and grow. Ultimately, they will grow into young adults with the confidence that they have made their own choices and decisions about their life.

Mastery in an area is a journey of discovering oneself and self-directed learning is no different. Allowing this natural process only deepens understanding and therefore allows us to follow our own path. I often say, the world takes all kinds of people, and to grow as people we need to be who we are.